Compassion and self-compassion · worksheet 125
Many people are gentle with others and very hard on themselves. Yet you already know how to speak kindly: you do it with your loved ones. It is about offering yourself that same voice.
Before you start
- What it is for: To see that you already know how to be kind, and to use that voice with yourself too.
- 10-15 minutes.
- Think of a specific person you love: your best friend, your brother.
- If you fear “slacking off”, read the friend column: would you tell them to give up?
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
Being kind to yourself doesn’t stop you from improving: you often learn better from a mistake when you don’t sink.
If you find it hard
If being kind to yourself makes you uncomfortable or sad, that is common at first: start with a single sentence and talk about it with your psychologist.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Highlight the double standard (kindness towards others, harshness towards oneself) and draw on the voice the person already uses with their loved ones.
Self-criticism, guilt, high self-demands, people who are very attentive to others. Duration: 15 min.
References
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.
Breines, J. G. & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(9), 1133-1143.
Germer, C. K. & Neff, K. D. (2019). Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. Guilford.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
