Compassion and self-compassion · worksheet 126
Think of someone, real or imaginary, who knows you well and wishes you well: they see your difficulties and accept you anyway. Write yourself a letter from them.
Before you start
- What it is for: To practise comforting yourself, as you would someone you love.
- About 20 minutes, in a quiet place.
- The figure can be real (a grandmother, a teacher) or imaginary.
- It is normal for it to feel strange or moving: it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
It is normal for it to be moving, or to sound false at first. Over time, that voice becomes more familiar.
If you find it hard
If being kind to yourself makes you uncomfortable or sad, that is common at first: start with a single sentence and talk about it with your psychologist.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Write oneself a letter from the point of view of a compassionate figure, about a difficulty or an aspect of oneself that causes shame, to develop a supportive inner voice.
Shame, self-criticism, difficulty comforting oneself, after a failure or a breakup. Duration: 20 min, to reread over the following days.
References
Germer, C. K. & Neff, K. D. (2019). Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. Guilford.
Gilbert, P. (2009). Introducing compassion-focused therapy. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 15(3), 199-208.
Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Batts Allen, A. & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(5), 887-904.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
