Attachment: my bonds · worksheet 156
Remembering a moment when someone was there for you (a hand on your shoulder, a reassuring sentence, someone who came) can bring back some calm and confidence. These memories are resources you can keep close at hand.
Before you start
- What it is for: To regain some calm and confidence by drawing on moments when you felt supported.
- 10 minutes, calmly.
- They can be very small moments: a sentence, a gesture, someone who came.
- If no memory comes to you, you can imagine a kind person (worksheet 129).
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
Notice the small changes: slower breathing, looser shoulders, a little warmth.
If you find it hard
If no memory comes to you, that’s fine: imagine a kind person, real or invented (worksheet 129), or talk about it with your psychologist.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Strengthen the sense of attachment security by recalling in detail moments of support, comfort or encouragement (inspired by research on “security priming”).
Relational anxiety, a sense of loneliness, preparing for a stressful situation, as a complement to stabilisation work. Duration: 10 min, to repeat.
References
Gillath, O., Selcuk, E. & Shaver, P. R. (2008). Moving toward a secure attachment style: Can repeated security priming help? Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 2(4), 1651-1666.
Mikulincer, M. & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change (2nd ed.). Guilford.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
