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Loving-kindness meditation

Sending good wishes, to myself and to others

Compassion and self-compassion · worksheet 130

This meditation involves silently repeating good wishes, first for someone you love, then for yourself and then for others. It isn’t about feeling something in particular: you are cultivating an intention.

Before you start

  • What it is for: To cultivate warmth and a sense of connection, with others and with yourself.
  • 10 minutes a day, for one or two weeks.
  • You don’t have to feel anything special: what counts is the intention.
  • The “difficult person” row is optional; skip it if you don’t feel like it.

Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).

What to do with your results

Some days you will feel tenderness; on others, nothing at all. Both are normal: what counts is the intention.

If you find it hard

If the phrases for yourself are too hard, stay longer with the person you love and then add yourself beside them.

To understand · Read the guide “Compassion and self-compassion: treating yourself as you treat those you love”

For psychologists

The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.

For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Practise loving-kindness meditation: expressing good wishes towards oneself and then towards ever wider circles, to cultivate emotions of warmth and connection.
Isolation, anger or resentment, self-criticism, wanting a meditation practice focused on connection. Duration: 10-15 min a day.

References
Hofmann, S. G., Grossman, P. & Hinton, D. E. (2011). Loving-kindness and compassion meditation: Potential for psychological interventions. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(7), 1126-1132.
Klimecki, O. M., Leiberg, S., Ricard, M. & Singer, T. (2014). Differential pattern of functional brain plasticity after compassion and empathy training. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 9(6), 873-879.
Germer, C. K. & Neff, K. D. (2019). Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. Guilford.

These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).

Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).

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Gonzalo Garzo, clinical psychologist

Gonzalo Garzo, clinical psychologist

A psychologist since 2018, I work with people online (in English, French or Spanish) and at my practice in La Rochelle, using third-wave CBT and EMDR. These worksheets help you move forward; if you need support, the first contact (20 min) is free.