Brain, stress and coping · worksheet 140
Some situations can’t be changed, at least for now. The psychologist Susan Folkman observed that, even in very hard situations, leaning on what matters, revising goals and noticing small positive moments helps people keep going. It doesn’t take the pain away: it keeps it company.
Before you start
- What it is for: To get through a situation you can’t change, without losing touch with what matters to you.
- 20 minutes on the first day; then a few minutes each evening, for a week.
- Finding meaning isn’t saying the situation is good: the pain still has its place.
- The moments can be very small: a coffee, a phone call, a laugh.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
Small positive moments don’t mean everything is fine: they show that your life also carries on alongside the difficulty.
If you find it hard
If some days you can’t find anything, that is normal: write “nothing today” and be kind to yourself. If the sadness weighs heavily, talk about it with your psychologist.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Support meaning-focused coping (Folkman) in a lasting, unchangeable situation: drawing on one’s values, revising goals, noticing the positive moments that remain.
Illness (one’s own or a loved one’s), carers, bereavement, a blocked work or administrative situation, exile. Duration: 20 min, then a few minutes each evening.
References
Folkman, S. (1997). Positive psychological states and coping with severe stress. Social Science & Medicine, 45(8), 1207-1221.
Folkman, S. & Moskowitz, J. T. (2004). Coping: Pitfalls and promise. Annual Review of Psychology, 55, 745-774.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
