Well-being and positive psychology (PERMA) · worksheet 114
When someone close shares good news, our response matters a lot. An enthusiastic, interested response (“Brilliant! Tell me how it went”) strengthens the relationship more than support in bad times alone.
Before you start
- What it is for: To strengthen your relationships by genuinely sharing other people’s joy.
- 10 minutes to read; then a week noticing your responses.
- There are four ways of responding to good news: with enthusiasm and interest (the one that brings you together), with a distracted “oh, good”, by looking for the problem, or by changing the subject.
- You don’t have to pretend: it is about genuinely paying attention and asking questions.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
Look at the other person’s reaction: often the conversation lasts longer and you feel closer.
If you find it hard
If you are going through a difficult time, it is normal to have less energy for other people’s joy. A simple “I’m happy for you, tell me about it” is enough.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Learn the “active constructive” response to the good news of people close to you, which strengthens the quality of relationships.
Couples, family, friendships; people who tend to respond distractedly or by playing things down. Duration: 10 min of explanation; observation over a week.
References
Gable, S. L., Reis, H. T., Impett, E. A. & Asher, E. R. (2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(2), 228-245.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
