ACT: values and committed action · worksheet 33
Imagine your 80th birthday party. The people who matter to you are there. Some of them speak about you and how you have lived. What would you like them, deep down, to say?
Before you start
- What it is for: To discover what really matters to you by imagining what your loved ones would like to be able to say about the way you live.
- About 20 minutes, calmly. It can be moving: that is a good sign.
- Imagine your 80th birthday party. Several important people in your life say a few words about you.
- Don’t write what you think they would say today, but what you would really like them to be able to say.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
The qualities that repeat in what you would like to hear are your values. The gap with your current life is not a reproach: it is a sign of direction.
If you find it hard
The exercise can make you sad: that is often a sign it is touching something important. If you are grieving or ill, worksheet 34 is a better choice.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Help the person get in touch with what really matters to them by imagining what their loved ones might say about them at their 80th birthday, if they had lived according to their values.
Loss of meaning, life organised around avoidance, difficult decisions. Adults. Duration: 20 min in session.
References
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D. & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). Guilford.
Wilson, K. G. & Murrell, A. R. (2004). Values work in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Setting a course for behavioral treatment. In S. C. Hayes, V. M. Follette & M. M. Linehan (Eds.), Mindfulness and Acceptance: Expanding the Cognitive-Behavioral Tradition (pp. 120-151). Guilford.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
