Living abroad: migratory grief and homesickness · worksheet 53
When you have left a country, you need both to think about what you miss and to build your life here. Moving from one to the other is not a problem: it is what helps you get through the grief.
Before you start
- What it is for: To balance the moments turned towards what you lost and those turned towards your new life.
- 5 minutes to plan and a minute a day to write things down, for a week.
- It is healthy to move between there and here: keeping the bond with what you left behind while building your current life.
- The problem arises when you stay on only one side: only there (homesickness that stops you living) or only here (cutting yourself off from everything).
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
If you lean a lot to one side (always in homesickness, or never), try adding a little of the other side the following week.
If you find it hard
Giving yourself moments of homesickness isn’t “looking back”: it is what helps the grieving happen.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Help the person understand that healthy grieving alternates between loss-oriented moments (homesickness, sadness) and restoration-oriented moments (new life, plans), and balance the two.
Migratory grief, overwhelming homesickness or, on the contrary, avoidance of any sadness (“I mustn’t look back”). Duration: 15-20 min in session; follow-up over a week.
References
Stroebe, M. & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description. Death Studies, 23(3), 197-224.
Achotegui, J. (2009). Estrés límite y salud mental: el síndrome del inmigrante con estrés crónico y múltiple (síndrome de Ulises). Gaceta Médica de Bilbao, 106(4), 122-133.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
