Is your teenager going through a difficult time?
Adolescence is a time of big changes, and it is sometimes hard to know what is “normal” and what deserves a closer look. I explain what psychology says, which signs to watch for and how I work with teenagers and their families.
A stage of building
Adolescence is when identity is built: who I am, what I want, which group I belong to. The psychologist Erik Erikson described it as the stage of conflict between identity and role confusion. Mood swings, a greater need for privacy and more distance from parents are normal.
But it is also a fragile stage
1 in 7
According to the World Health Organization, one in seven adolescents aged 10 to 19 has a mental disorder.
Anxiety, the most common
Anxiety disorders are the most common at this age, followed by depression and behavioural disorders.
The environment protects
A supportive environment at home, at school and in the community, sleep, sport and the ability to manage emotions and problems are protective factors.
Asking for help early makes a difference: many difficulties are easier to tackle when they are spotted in time.
Signs to watch for
It is not about being alarmed by every change, but about noticing what lasts several weeks, gets worse or disrupts daily life:
Changes in mood
Sadness, irritability or apathy that don’t go away; they no longer enjoy what they used to love.
Isolation
They shut themselves away, no longer see their friends or avoid going to school.
Worry or fear
Constant nervousness, frequent physical complaints (stomach aches, headaches), fear of social situations.
Sleep or eating
They sleep or eat much more or much less than usual.
Difficulties at school or at home
Falling grades, constant conflict, risky behaviour.
If you notice self-harm, thoughts of not wanting to live or seriously risky behaviour, seek help immediately from their doctor, the emergency services (112 in Europe) or, in France, 3114.
How can parents help?
Between autonomy and support
The challenge for parents is to support without intruding: giving teenagers the autonomy they need while remaining a secure base. Some pointers:
Listen more than you advise
Take an interest in their point of view before giving yours. Feeling heard encourages them to confide in you again.
Validate without dramatising
Acknowledge that what they feel is real, even if it seems out of proportion to you.
Keep clear limits
Explained and consistent. Limits are reassuring too.
Sometimes, despite all your efforts, a teenager does not want to talk to their parents. That is normal: a confidential and respectful space with a professional may be exactly what they need.
What research says
The WHO recommends prioritising psychological, non-medication approaches for adolescents, involving the family and the environment:
Cognitive behavioural therapy
Adapted to their age, it is one of the best-validated approaches for anxiety and depression in adolescence.
Managing emotions and problems
Learning to identify and regulate emotions, solve problems and communicate better: skills the WHO considers protective.
Involving the family
Guidance for parents to support the process and improve communication at home.
Assessment can draw on validated questionnaires for adolescents, which help measure anxiety or mood and track progress.
How I work with teenagers
First, with the parents
A first conversation with the family to understand the situation. For a minor, the parents’ consent is needed to start.
A space for the teenager
Individual sessions in a climate of trust. What they say is confidential, except where there is a risk to their safety.
Tailored tools
Managing anxiety, mood, self-esteem, relationships or studies, with techniques adapted to their age.
Coordination with the family
Regular check-ins with the parents to guide them, while respecting their child’s privacy.
Sessions can take place online, which many teenagers find more comfortable, in English, French or Spanish.
What you can start today
Look for informal moments
Important conversations often happen in the car, while cooking or walking, more than with a “we need to talk”.
Ask and listen
“How are you, really?”, then listen without correcting or minimising.
Watch sleep and screens
Regular sleep times and screens out of the bedroom at night help mood a lot.
Look after yourself too
Supporting a teenager who is struggling is hard. Asking for advice for yourself is also a way of helping them.
Gonzalo Garzo
Clinical psychologist · teenagers and families
I have been a clinical psychologist since 2018, and I am also an anthropologist. For years I combined psychology with management positions (see my LinkedIn profile), before dedicating myself fully to clinical work.
I work with an integrative approach: third-wave CBT (ACT, DBT, mindfulness) and EMDR, adapted to each person’s needs.
I have lived in several countries and I work in English, French or Spanish, online or in La Rochelle.
Frequently asked questions
My child doesn’t want to see a psychologist: what can I do?
It is common. We can start with a session with the parents and look together for a way to suggest it to them. Sometimes a video call makes the first step easier.
Will you tell me what they say in session?
What they confide remains confidential, except where there is a risk to their safety. I keep you informed of their general progress and give you guidance, without revealing their private life.
From what age do you work?
I work with teenagers. We discuss it in the first conversation according to their age and situation.
Is the consent of both parents needed?
As a general rule, yes: to work with a minor, the consent of those with parental responsibility is required.
Shall we talk?
Sources
- World Health Organization (2025). Mental health of adolescents (fact sheet).
- World Health Organization (2020). Guidelines on mental health promotive and preventive interventions for adolescents.
- Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. Norton.
- Carrasco, M., Ramírez, I. and Del Barrio, V. (2013). Evaluación clínica: diagnóstico, formulación y contrastación de los trastornos psicológicos. Sanz y Torres.
This page is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment.