Leading a team without sacrificing your health
Managing people means deciding, communicating, arbitrating and being accountable, often under pressure from above and below. I explain what psychology says about managers’ stress and which skills can be trained to lead with more calm and clarity.
The stress of those who lead
Positions of responsibility combine many of the most stressful conditions: deciding with incomplete information, ambiguous situations, tight deadlines and conflicts between people. On top of that, managers often feel they cannot show their doubts.
What often weighs heavily
Pressure from both sides
Targets and demands from above, the team’s needs and conflicts from below.
Difficult conversations
Giving feedback, saying no, managing someone who is not keeping up or arbitrating a conflict.
Carrying everything alone
Difficulty delegating, perfectionism and the feeling that if you don’t do it yourself, it won’t be done properly.
These are not fixed traits: communicating, delegating and handling conflict are skills that can be learnt and trained.
Situations where I can help
Some common reasons why managers and leaders come to see me:
A first management role
Going from colleague to manager, gaining authority without losing closeness.
Conflict in the team
Tensions between people, lack of engagement or a difficult team member.
Prolonged stress
The feeling of always being at your limit, insomnia, irritability or signs of exhaustion.
Difficult decisions
Restructuring, redundancies or a change of direction that make you doubt.
Aggressive, passive or assertive
Three ways of communicating
Psychology distinguishes three behavioural styles in relationships. Recognising yours in different situations is the first step towards managing better:
Passive
You avoid conflict, give in or keep quiet. In the short term it calms things down; in the long term it creates frustration and a loss of authority.
Aggressive
You impose, put pressure on people or belittle them. You get immediate results, but you damage trust and the atmosphere.
Assertive
You express clearly what you think and need, while respecting the other person. This is the style that keeps teams healthy.
Communication has three components: what you say (verbal), how you say it (paraverbal: tone, pace) and what your body expresses (non-verbal). An assertive message takes care of all three.
Listening can be trained too: active listening and empathy, conveyed through words and body language, are basic skills that improve any professional relationship.
Skills that can be trained
Here are some of the validated psychological techniques we use:
Assertiveness and social skills
With modelling, role play and feedback, we practise specific situations (giving feedback, saying no, negotiating) until they become natural.
Problem solving
A step-by-step method to define the problem, generate alternatives, decide and evaluate, useful when facing complex decisions.
Cognitive and physiological techniques
Reviewing rigid demands and lowering activation through breathing and relaxation, so that you don’t decide under tension.
The aim is not to learn relationship “rules”, but to become more flexible in reading each situation and adapting your response.
How I support you
Analysing your situation
Your role, your team, what wears you down and what you want to change.
Training skills
We practise in session the conversations you find hard, with role play and feedback.
Protecting your energy
Stress, sleep, the boundary between work and personal life.
Leading according to your values
Defining what kind of manager you want to be and acting consistently, even when it is difficult.
I held senior management positions for years, in higher education and in the cultural sector. I know these situations from the inside.
What you can start today
Listen before you answer
In your next meeting, rephrase what you are told before giving your opinion. The atmosphere changes.
Delegate one task
One specific task, with a clear goal, without checking every step.
Prepare the difficult conversation
Write down what you want to say, what you need and what you propose. It helps you avoid both avoidance and imposing.
Stop at a set time
Set an end to your working day. Your team also learns from your limits.
Gonzalo Garzo
Clinical psychologist · former senior manager
I have been a clinical psychologist since 2018, and I am also an anthropologist. For years I combined psychology with management positions (see my LinkedIn profile), before dedicating myself fully to clinical work.
I work with an integrative approach: third-wave CBT (ACT, DBT, mindfulness) and EMDR, adapted to each person’s needs.
I have lived in several countries and I work in English, French or Spanish, online or in La Rochelle.
Frequently asked questions
Is it therapy or management coaching?
It is psychological support: we work on concrete skills, but also on stress, emotions and the personal patterns that influence the way you lead.
What if the problem is my boss or the company?
We work on what depends on you, how to protect yourself and which decisions you want to make about what does not depend on you.
Can my team come?
My work is individual. If you need an intervention with the team, I can point you in the right direction.
I don’t have much time: how many sessions will I need?
It depends on the goal. To train specific skills, a few sessions with practice in between are often enough.
Shall we talk?
Sources
- Caballo, V. (Dir.) (2002). Manual para el tratamiento cognitivo-conductual de los trastornos psicológicos, vol. 1. Siglo XXI.
- Cormier, W. H. and Cormier, L. S. (2000). Estrategias de entrevista para terapeutas. Desclée de Brouwer.
- Barona, E. G. (1996). Salud, estrés y factores psicológicos. Campo Abierto, 13(1), 51-69.
- Guerrero Barona, E. and Rubio Jiménez, J. C. (2005). Estrategias de prevención e intervención del «burnout» en el ámbito educativo. Salud Mental, 28(5), 27-33.
- Ruiz, M., Díaz, M. and Villalobos, A. (2013). Manual de técnicas de intervención cognitivo conductuales. Desclée de Brouwer.
This page is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment.