Attachment: my bonds · worksheet 153
As adults we still need people to turn to when we aren’t well (a haven) and who encourage us to move forward (a base). That need isn’t weakness: it is human. This worksheet helps you see whom you can count on today.
Before you start
- What it is for: To see whom you can count on today, and what sometimes stops you.
- About 20 minutes.
- As adults we still need a haven and a base: it isn’t weakness.
- A single reliable bond already counts for a lot.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
If the list is short, that isn’t a failure: it is a lead. A single reliable bond already counts for a lot.
If you find it hard
If you feel very alone right now, an association, a group or your psychologist can be a first point of support.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Map the current sources of security (haven and base) and how the person uses them, to strengthen the support available, especially during transitions.
Isolation, living abroad, separation, bereavement, people who never ask for help. Duration: 20 min.
References
Feeney, B. C. & Collins, N. L. (2015). A new look at social support: A theoretical perspective on thriving through relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 19(2), 113-147.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. Basic Books.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
