Compassion and self-compassion · worksheet 127
According to the psychologist Paul Gilbert, our emotions are organised around three systems: threat (protecting ourselves), drive (moving forward, achieving) and soothing (feeling safe and connected). When threat and drive take up all the space, we wear ourselves out.
Before you start
- What it is for: To understand why you always feel under pressure and what is missing for you to be able to stop.
- 20 minutes.
- All three systems are normal and useful; none of them is “bad”.
- It is a model for understanding yourself, not an exact description of the brain.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
No system is bad. The aim is balance: giving more space to soothing, which is often the smallest circle.
If you find it hard
If you can’t find anything that soothes you, think of small things: a person, a place, some music, an animal, a hot drink.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Explain the three emotion regulation systems model from compassion-focused therapy (threat, drive/seeking, soothing) and identify their balance in the person’s life.
Anxiety, self-criticism, burnout (overactive drive and threat), difficulty resting or feeling safe. Duration: 20 min.
References
Gilbert, P. (2009). Introducing compassion-focused therapy. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 15(3), 199-208.
Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53(1), 6-41.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
