Compassion and self-compassion · worksheet 124
Self-compassion is treating yourself in difficulty the way you would treat someone you love. The psychologist Kristin Neff describes three pillars: recognising the suffering, remembering you are not alone and speaking to yourself kindly.
Before you start
- What it is for: To gradually replace the harsh voice that criticises you with a voice that helps you, without fooling yourself.
- 15-20 minutes.
- Choose something moderately difficult, not the most painful thing.
- Self-compassion isn’t agreeing with yourself about everything: it is treating yourself with the kindness you would give someone you love.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
It doesn’t erase the difficulty, but it changes the way you go through it. Keep the sentence that helps you most.
If you find it hard
If being kind to yourself makes you uncomfortable or sad, that is common at first: start with a single sentence and talk about it with your psychologist.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Introduce the three components of self-compassion according to Neff and apply them to a real difficult situation, contrasting them with their opposites (self-criticism, isolation, over-identification).
Self-criticism, perfectionism, shame, failures experienced as proof of one’s worth. Duration: 15-20 min.
References
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.
Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Batts Allen, A. & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(5), 887-904.
Neff, K. D. & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the Mindful Self-Compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
