Guide
Ruminating means going over and over the same thoughts, often about the past (“why did I do that?”) or about yourself (“what’s wrong with me?”). It feels like thinking, but you don’t move forward, and you feel worse.
Reflecting or ruminating?
Research distinguishes two forms of repetitive thinking: an abstract one (“whys” with no answer), which keeps sadness and anxiety going, and a concrete one (“what exactly happened? what can I do?”), which helps solve problems. Three questions help you see the difference: am I moving towards a solution? Am I understanding something new? Do I feel better or worse?
A little theory · Edward Watkins’ research shows that what does harm isn’t thinking about problems, but the way we do it: abstract, evaluative thinking (“why?”) keeps sadness going, whereas concrete thinking focused on “how” helps you solve things (Watkins, 2008).
Why we carry on
We often believe that ruminating helps (“it prepares me”, “in the end I’ll understand”) or that we can’t stop. These beliefs keep the loop going. Testing them, for example by deliberately postponing your worries, often shows that we have more control than we think.
A little theory · Rumination prolongs and worsens episodes of low mood: it makes thinking more negative, makes problem-solving harder and pushes you to withdraw from activities and people. That is why it is one of the main risk factors for depression (Nolen-Hoeksema et al., 2008).
A little theory · Postponing worries to a fixed “appointment” (worksheet 02) comes from Borkovec’s early work: people who worry a lot find it hard to control when they worry, and setting a time and a place reduces the space worry takes up in the day (Borkovec et al., 1983).
What helps
- Spotting your triggers (alone, in the evening, after a conflict).
- Moving from “why” to “how” and “what”.
- Noticing the loop and coming back to the present (mindfulness).
- Filling your time with activities that absorb your attention and that matter.
Worksheets to practise
- 03 · Helpful or going round in circles? · Telling helpful reflection apart from rumination
- 02 · My worry appointment · Postponing worries to a chosen time
- 14 · What does worrying do for me? · Beliefs about worry and rumination
- 18 · Leaves on a stream · Letting thoughts pass without following them (defusion)
- 23 · Filling my week again · Planning activities that matter (behavioural activation)
Sources
Watkins, E. R. (2008). Constructive and unconstructive repetitive thought. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 163-206.
Watkins, E. R. (2016). Rumination-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Depression. Guilford.
Wells, A. (2009). Metacognitive Therapy for Anxiety and Depression. Guilford.
Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E. & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3(5), 400-424.
Borkovec, T. D., Wilkinson, L., Folensbee, R. & Lerman, C. (1983). Stimulus control applications to the treatment of worry. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 21(3), 247-251.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
