Grief: after losing someone close · worksheet 145
Some dates rekindle the pain: the anniversary of the death, their birthday, holidays, the first start of the school year or the first holiday without the person. That is normal, even years later. Preparing for them a little helps you get through them.
Before you start
- What it is for: So that the dates that hurt don’t take you by surprise, and so you can decide how you want to live them.
- About 20 minutes, a few weeks before an important date.
- It is normal for certain dates to hurt, even years later.
- You can change your mind on the day itself.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
The waiting before the date is often harder than the day itself. And you have the right to change your mind on the day.
If you find it hard
If you don’t want to plan anything, that is a choice too: just let one person close to you know that the day will be difficult. If you want to die or to be reunited with the person, call 112, 3114 (France) or your local emergency number.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Anticipate the moments of risk (anniversary of the death, birthdays, holidays, first times without the person) and prepare a flexible plan: what to expect, with whom, what ritual, what way out.
First year of grief, approaching holidays, people surprised by “setbacks” on certain dates. Duration: 20 min.
References
Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (5th ed.). Springer.
Stroebe, M. & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description. Death Studies, 23(3), 197-224.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
