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Flowers and stones

A lifeline of the moments that did me good and those that hurt

Lifeline: my story · worksheet 119

On your lifeline, the flowers are the moments and people that did you good. The stones are the moments that hurt you. Today the stones aren’t told: they are just put in their place, with one word.

This exercise is best done with the support of a psychologist.

Before you start

  • What it is for: To prepare the work on difficult moments with your psychologist, while also seeing everything that helped you.
  • It is done in session, with your psychologist.
  • Today the stones aren’t told: they are just placed, with one or two words.
  • If a memory comes back strongly, look around you and name 5 things you can see.

Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).

What to do with your results

The flowers count as much as the stones. Notice the people, places and qualities that repeat.

If you find it hard

If a stone takes you back into the memory, look around you, name 5 things you can see and tell your psychologist.

For psychologists

The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.

For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Build a symbolic lifeline with the person (flowers = moments of resources, stones = very difficult or traumatic events) to prepare trauma work, without going into the memories.
People who have experienced several traumatic events (violence, exile, war, accidents), as preparation for EMDR work or narrative exposure. Duration: One session (45-90 min).

References
Schauer, M., Neuner, F. & Elbert, T. (2011). Narrative Exposure Therapy: A Short-Term Treatment for Traumatic Stress Disorders (2nd ed.). Hogrefe.
Lely, J. C. G., Smid, G. E., Jongedijk, R. A., Knipscheer, J. W. & Kleber, R. J. (2019). The effectiveness of narrative exposure therapy: A review, meta-analysis and meta-regression analysis. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 10(1), 1550344.
Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford.

These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).

Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).

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Gonzalo Garzo, clinical psychologist

Gonzalo Garzo, clinical psychologist

A psychologist since 2018, I work with people online (in English, French or Spanish) and at my practice in La Rochelle, using third-wave CBT and EMDR. These worksheets help you move forward; if you need support, the first contact (20 min) is free.