Living abroad: migratory grief and homesickness · worksheet 46
Leaving, even by choice, means losing many things at once: loved ones in daily life, a language, customs, landscapes, a place. These losses rarely have a name. Writing them down helps you recognise what you are going through.
Before you start
- What it is for: To put words to everything you lost when you left and to recognise that what you feel is real grief.
- About 20 minutes, at a time when you can be calm. It can stir up emotions: that is normal.
- There is one line per area. If an area means nothing to you, leave it empty.
- Also look at what you have gained: this isn’t about totting up losses, but about seeing everything.
Prefer paper? Download the PDF to print (with a page for psychologists).
What to do with your results
The areas with the highest rating are the ones weighing most right now: you can start with them (worksheets 49, 55, 57). The “what I have found” column is a reminder that migrating is not only losing.
If you find it hard
This exercise can bring up sadness: that is normal. If sadness, loneliness or stress become overwhelming, talk to a professional.
For psychologists
The PDF also includes a page for the psychologist: how to run the exercise in session, points to watch and scientific references. You are free to use it with your clients.
For psychologists: aim, audience and duration
Help the person identify the different losses linked to migration (loved ones, language, culture, landscapes, status, belonging…), often experienced without being named, so as to recognise a legitimate grief.
Expatriates or migrants, whatever the reason for leaving, even when it was chosen and “went well”. Duration: 20-30 min in session.
References
Achotegui, J. (2009). Estrés límite y salud mental: el síndrome del inmigrante con estrés crónico y múltiple (síndrome de Ulises). Gaceta Médica de Bilbao, 106(4), 122-133.
Bhugra, D. & Becker, M. A. (2005). Migration, cultural bereavement and cultural identity. World Psychiatry, 4(1), 18-24.
These worksheets do not replace therapy. If you are in distress or having suicidal thoughts, call your local emergency number (112 in Europe; 3114 in France, free, 24/7).
Free worksheet for non-commercial use: you may share it with credit to the author, without modifying it (Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence).
