A safe space to be who you are
Being lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer or not fitting into boxes is not a psychological problem. What can weigh on you is the stress of living in an environment that is not always accepting. I explain what research says and how I work, with an affirmative approach.
Diversity is not a disorder
The World Health Organization removed homosexuality from its classification of diseases in 1990, and in ICD-11 gender incongruence is no longer considered a mental disorder. Professional psychology associations recommend affirmative practice: supporting the person, without trying to change their orientation or identity.
What can affect well-being, on the other hand
Discrimination and rejection
Mockery, exclusion or violence, in the family, at work or in the street.
Hiding
The constant effort to conceal who you are, or to weigh up when and with whom you can be open.
Internalised stigma
Having absorbed negative messages about yourself, which sometimes turn into shame or self-criticism.
There was a time when psychology itself tried to “correct” sexual orientation, for example with aversion therapies. We now know that these practices don’t work and cause harm. In France and in Spain, they are prohibited by law.
Reasons to come
Some common situations, but you can come for any reason, whether or not it is related to your orientation or identity:
Coming out
Deciding whether, when and how to talk about it with your family, your friends or at work.
Gender identity
Exploring your identity, support through a transition or handling the reactions of the people around you.
Anxiety or low mood
Distress linked to experiences of rejection, discrimination or isolation.
Relationships
Partners, family, friendships, in a context that does not always recognise them in the same way.
Why does the environment weigh so much?
The minority stress model
The minority stress model, proposed by Ilan Meyer (2003), explains why LGBTQ+ people have, on average, more mental health difficulties: not because of their orientation or identity, but because of the additional stress linked to stigma. It distinguishes two types of stressors:
External stressors
Discrimination, rejection, assaults or micro-aggressions experienced.
Internal stressors
Expecting rejection, hiding and internalised stigma.
Protective factors
Social support, connection with the community and an accepted identity.
The good news is that protective factors carry a lot of weight: feeling supported and connected to others reduces the impact of minority stress.
What research says
The American Psychological Association’s guidelines for practice with sexual and gender minorities recommend:
Affirmative practice
Recognising sexual and gender diversity as normal variations, and taking into account the impact of stigma on distress.
Validated treatments, adapted
CBT or ACT are just as useful for anxiety or depression, adapted to the context of minority stress.
Rejecting “conversion therapies”
They don’t work, they are harmful and they are prohibited in France (law of 31 January 2022) and in Spain (Law 4/2023).
Whatever the reason you come, your orientation and identity are respected, without assuming they are the problem.
How I work
Listening without assuming
You decide what you share and how you name yourself. You come for what concerns you.
Understanding your context
Your history, your support and any experiences of rejection or discrimination that may play a part.
Working on what weighs on you
Anxiety, self-esteem, shame, relationships or decisions such as coming out, with CBT and ACT.
Strengthening your support
Social network, community and the resources that sustain you.
Sessions take place online, confidentially, in English, French or Spanish.
What you can start today
Find your community
LGBTQ+ associations, groups or places where you don’t have to justify yourself.
Look after your safe spaces
Identify the people with whom you can be yourself without a filter, and spend more time with them.
Be kind to yourself
When shame or self-criticism come up, ask yourself whose voice it really is.
Your pace is your own
There is no timetable for saying who you are. You decide when and with whom.
Gonzalo Garzo
Clinical psychologist · affirmative approach
I have been a clinical psychologist since 2018, and I am also an anthropologist. For years I combined psychology with management positions (see my LinkedIn profile), before dedicating myself fully to clinical work.
I work with an integrative approach: third-wave CBT (ACT, DBT, mindfulness) and EMDR, adapted to each person’s needs.
I have lived in several countries and I work in English, French or Spanish, online or in La Rochelle.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to talk about my orientation or identity?
Only if you want to. You can come for any reason, and whether you talk about it or not is up to you.
Do you work with trans and non-binary people?
Yes, with an affirmative approach, supporting whatever you need on your path.
Is it confidential?
Yes. Everything that is said is protected by professional confidentiality.
What if my family doesn’t accept it?
We can work on how to handle the situation, protect yourself and strengthen other sources of support.
Shall we talk?
Sources
- Meyer, I. H. (2003). Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations: Conceptual issues and research evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674-697.
- American Psychological Association (2021). Guidelines for psychological practice with sexual minority persons.
- American Psychological Association (2015). Guidelines for psychological practice with transgender and gender nonconforming people. American Psychologist, 70(9), 832-864.
- World Health Organization. ICD-11: gender incongruence in the chapter on conditions related to sexual health.
- French Law No. 2022-92 of 31 January 2022 prohibiting practices aimed at changing a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Ley 4/2023, de 28 de febrero, para la igualdad real y efectiva de las personas trans y para la garantía de los derechos de las personas LGTBI (Spain).
This page is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment.